Shatter Post Mortem

I know this is old news, but Shatter is awesome. Carcus was proven wrong once again, and I’m ashamed to admit that I completely disregarded this one as a generic brick-breaker. Even though the critics loved it, I remained skeptical, “How could a reskined ‘Breakout’ port possibly interest me in 2010?”

Shatter is a complete reimagining of the genre. Its innovated control system allows you to manipulate your surroundings, so you’ll never be waiting to hit that last brick. If you have trouble taking it out, it’s because you suck. No sense blaming the game. You’ll need strategy as well as technique, so it forces you to get better as you progress. The result is an engaging and ultimately satisfying experience.

The only thing I wasn’t crazy about was the soundtrack. This is in complete contradiction to every review you’ll read about this game. Module’s score may be as popular as the game itself, but it isn’t my thing. In fact, my wife repeatedly commented on how awful it was.

Bottom line, Shatter is worth its weight in gold. It’s anything buy a generic brick-breaker. Pick it up nows!

No Haters Please

Mr. B warned me that if I didn’t take the time to explain my platform stance, there’d be haters all over my ass. Sure enough, Mr. Danny Power Glover created his own blog in retaliation to my recent comments on the XBOX E3 press conference. Its http://smellthepowerglove.com/ if you’d like to read the slander for yourself. Since I was a little harsh on the Microsoft crew for dedicating two thirds of their show to casual games, he labeled me a Sony fanboy and implied that I lack objectivity in my video game commentary. I will admit that I’m a fan of many things Sony has to offer, but that doesn’t mean I’ll blindly buy into everything they’re selling, and it certainly doesn’t mean I’ll trash everything Microsoft either.

To be honest, I find this whole XBOX versus Playstation fanboy bullshit ridiculously tired and an outright waste of time. It’s downright laughable when you realize both consoles offer the exact same gaming experience 80 percent of the time, and the remaining 20 percent doesn’t justify a dual console household in my opinion. If someone asked me which console to buy, I’d say buy whatever most of your friends have. It’s as simple as that. Buy in and enjoy!

Please allow me to clarify my console choice. Over the past 13 years, I purchased four video game systems: The Playstation, Playstation 2, Playstation Portable, and Playstation 3. That might make me look like a fanboy, but I assure it’s more a matter of familiarity. The Playstation line has been good to me over the years, so why deviate? This is not to say there is anything wrong with the 360. I’m just more comfortable with the PS3. That’s it!

Despite what Mr. Glover has to say, I don’t subscribe to the ‘mine is better than yours’ mentality. I will compliment and criticize as I see fit. I hate Forza and Gran Turismo equally, and I’d love to get my hands on a Mass Effect port. I prefer my analog sticks convex, but I could care less about 3D games. I think the Kinect has potential, but the Move looks more promising simple because it has core game implementation.

Go ahead and hate all you want, but please remember… If opinions are like assholes, than this blog is my toilet paper, and if you can’t handle that, get your own BLOODY SANDBOX!

My perfect E3 2010 Results

E3 ended over a week ago, and since the dust has finally settled, I thought it would be a good time to revisit My Perfect E3 2010 post. Lets see if this year’s E3 measured up to my expectations.

1) The Move: Sony will announce at least one motion control game that makes my pants tight. In other words, they will give me a reason to buy the damn things. Also, pricing will be announced, and it will be affordable.

Please don’t laugh when I say this, but the two Move games I’m most excited about are Heavy Rain and Dead Space Extraction. SOCOM4 and Killzone 3 might be sellers as well, but I’m pretty sure I’m gonna give The Move a go. Fingers Crossed! Pricing-wise, its not exactly affordable, so I’m going to give this one half points.

2) Valve: Those crybabies at Valve will say something remotely positive about the PS3. Comments about its user base don’t count.

Talk about nail on the friggin head. Gabe said the PS3 was ‘the most open console.’ Did they have a knife to his back? It made it seem like his previous PS3 bashing was just a setup for this E3 appearance. In any case, Steam for the PS3 is huge… but where’s my Left 4 Dead?

3) Zombies: I love zombies, and I love the PS3. E3 will show me a PS3 zombie game that’s worth buying. Whether it’s Dead Rising 2, a Left 4 Dead port, or something completely new, I want to have fun killing zombies before 2010 is over.

No new zombie game or Left 4 Dead announcements, and I’m not completely sold on Dead Rising 2 yet, but all hope is not yet lost. A little game that I almost forgot about reared its bloody head. Dead Nation is looking pretty nice I have to say. Here’s to future zombie killing on the PS3.

3) Big Non-Japanese PSP game: Will Sony show off a non-Japanese PSP game that proves to be a big deal? In my perfect world they will! Uncharted PSP anyone?

Uncharted PSP didn’t happen, but I somehow forgot about another non-Japanese PSP game when I wrote this. Newsflash: Anything with God of War in the title is indeed a ‘big deal.’ Stupid Carcus!

5) PSP2: A lot of insiders have been talking about the PSP2 lately, so I’d be surprised if it’s not announced, but at my E3, the PSP2 will not only have advanced graphics it will also be a phone.

Sadly, no PSP2. I guess Sony didn’t want their consumers to get hardware fatigue and decided to focus on 3D and The Move instead. Its understandable, but they’re gonna need a hardware upgrade pretty soon to compete with Apple products.

6) PSN Premium Service: Very simple here. Sony will make this worthwhile. Lots of firm commitments and very few ambiguities.

Done and Done! Surprisingly, Sony laid out all the details. Nothing wishy washy about it. Essentially, we get game trials, early demos and betas, automatic downloads, Playstaion Store discounts, and new free games and goodies every month. I personal love surprises, so I can’t wait to see what they come up with month to month.

7) Teasers: There will be teasers for 2 brand new games and at least 2 of the following games: Agent, Uncharted 3, Syphon Filter, Twisted Metal, or GTA V (god help me.)

My apologies, this one was a little vague. I should’ve said 2 brand new games that interest me. Lets see… I can’t think of any teasers for brand new games. It seemed like everything was announced pre-E3, and the only game even mentioned on this list, Twisted Metal, whipped out a full live stage demo. No points here.

8) Gameplay Trailers: We will see gameplay trailers for 5 of the following: Infamous 2, Resistance 3, Crysis 2, Castlevania: Lords of Shadows, MGS: Rising, new GOW PSP, Resident Evil PSP, or Last Guardian.

We got awesome new gameplay trailers for Infamous 2, Crysis 2, Castlevania: LOS, MGS: Rising and a teaser for the new GOW PSP. I guess that’s close enough.

9) Live On Stage Demos: How about this? Littlebigplanet 2, SOCOM 4, and Killzone 3. Safe I know.

The Sony press conference had live on-stage demos of LBP 2 and KZ3 and a playable demo of SOCOM 4 on the show floor. That deserves a point in my eyes.

10) 3D: Sony will finally admit that 3D is a bad idea and will devote their time and resources into something people actually care about.

Nope!

11) Something Old: PSN will start offering PS2 titles for download. There will be several Blu-ray HD rerelease collections confirmed.

I’m sorry to say there won’t be any PS2 titles available on PSN just yet, and the Sly Cooper Collection doesn’t count as ‘several Blu-ray HD rerelease collections.’ Where the f@$k is ICO! No point.

12) Something Borrowed: Sony fans will get something that belonged to Microsoft. Whether its Bungie’s new game or (Please God!) Mass Effect, it will be a great feeling.

Nothing! No Mass Effect, no Left 4 Dead, and no Bungie game. Nothing!

13) Something Big: I want to crap my pants in excitement at least once. Is that too much to ask?

There were a few things that got my turtlehead a’pokin. Games like Dead Space 2, Killzone 3, Crysis 2, and Rage blew my mind, but what made my shorts really heavy was the Portal 2 announcement. You may think ‘Portal 2, what’s so big about that?’ Well its not so much the game itself, but the doors it will open. With PS3 Steam Works support, Valve may not only release all their future games for the platform, but also their existing titles as well. Wink Wink!

So how did E3 2010 measure up? If you weren’t counting, E3 2010 got 7.5 out of 13. That’s 58%. My general impression would’ve been a lot higher than that, but numbers don’t lie.

Mystery Bin Dip Challenge

Ahhh…. The video game bargain bin. Home of the misfit games no longer worthy of shelf space. Are they yesterday’s favourites or today’s garbage? Hidden gems or stinky dog turds? Underrated rarities or lessons in agonizing torture? No matter how you look at it, bargain bins are a point of interest for every frugal gamer scrounging for a deal, but what happens when you throw caution to the wind and do the old bargain bin dip BLIND? That’s exactly what Mr. B and I decided to find out when we came up with this challenge. This has the potential to be a rather unpleasant experience, but I guess that’s what makes it a challenge.

A couple days ago, Mr. B and I, trotted our arses over to the local video game store. We were a little nervous but generally optimistic. The plan was for each of us to pick a game out of the bargain bin without looking, flip a coin, and then both buy a copy of the winning title. That way we’d both experience the potential bliss and/or suffering said game would provide. Before doing so, we had to first lay down some ground rules: It had to be under $20, it couldn’t be a game either of us had already played, and it couldn’t be a sports game (no one wants to play NHL 07.)

After we opened the door, we spotted the bin and dove right in. Mr. B picked Lego Indiana Jones: The Original Adventures, and I pulled out The Godfather II. Now for the coin toss:

Vs

And the winner is….

I have to admit that I was a little relieved but still not exactly excited about the victor. As I recall, it received mixed but mostly mediocre reviews upon its release. Apart from the rumor that it had a copious amount of topless women, it didn’t make much of an impression on me, but this is a challenge after all.

Mr. B and I have since recruited two others to join in on the challenge and are planning on blogging about our individual experiences. This will also be a topic of discussion on our very first My Bloody Sandbox Podcast, so be sure to check back for updates.

I’d also like to encourage anyone else who’d like to take part to do so. Comment on the blog or send me an email with your impressions of the game. mybloodysandbox@gmail.com Think of it as Oprah’s book club but for video game nerds.

Good Luck!

The Yellow Light of Devron

This post is a shout-out to my buddy Devron. The PS3 yellow light of death was no match for this daddy. He spent his very first Father's Day disassembling his PS3 and performed the infamous heat gun re-flow method. With no previous training or experience in electronics repair, this took some serious balls, and I'm happy to say that it worked.

As I understand it, the yellow light of death is most often caused by overheating. When the PS3 overheats the solder loosens and causes the graphics chip to separate from the motherboard. When you try to turn the unit on, the red light blinks yellow then shuts off… hence the name.

You can find several video walkthroughs online, but the fix process roughly involves stripping the unit down to its motherboard so you can heat up the solder with a heat gun. After the solder is magically reset, you have to reapply thermal compound on the chips and then reassemble. Sounds easy, but this took hours. Tons of little screws and ribbons to reconnect.

So, if you heard about this process but were wondering if it actually works, you can take my word for it that it does. I’m an eyewitness.

Congratulations Devron, and welcome back.

Challenge No. 1 Update / The Lost And Damned Post Mortem

I’d like the to thank The Lost and Damned for all that it has given me. It gave me more GTA IV, stable motorcycles that are actually fun to drive, sawed-off shotguns, my very first gaming experience with full frontal male nudity, and, best of all, checkpoints. Its funny how something so simple as a checkpoint can make a gaming experience so much more enjoyable. Even if you don’t fail a mission, it’s a good feeling knowing that if you do, you wont have to drive halfway across the map to get back into the action. For the first time, I played through an entire GTA game without any serious frustration. This is partly due to its length (I finished it in under 8 hours), but also because I believe it was designed to be less frustrating than its predecessors. This doesn’t mean less difficult necessarily only less frustrating. Big difference.

TLAD was a tight little GTA experience that should be played directly after GTAIV. There are tons of obvious crossover plot points as well as subtle reverences to the main game. You also get to see what else went on in Liberty City while Niko was doing his thing. I can’t wait to play through The Ballad of Gay Tony to get the remaining piece of the puzzle.

Sadly, Johnny is no Niko. I spent the first half of the game wanting to run his bike off the road. Spoiler Alert! Johnny isn’t happy with the way Billy is running the gang. Why doesn’t he just take out a billboard? A little heavy on the exposition to say the least!

It may seem like I’m making some serious strides with this challenge, but the real work hasn’t even started.

How about that list:

Grand Theft Auto (PS1)

Grand Theft Auto: London (PS1)

Grand Theft Auto 2 (PS1)

Grand Theft Auto 3 (PS2)

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (PS2)

Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories (PSP)

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories (PSP)

Grand Theft Auto IV: Ballad of Gay Tony (PS3)

…Do you think my wife would let me buy a motorcycle?

My Bloody Playstation E3 Press Conference Notes

Now that was a show. They brought it all. It had big surprises, loads of amazing games, new tech demos, and even comic relief, and Sony really knows how to rock a sizzle reel. They’re more emotional than informative, but completely effective. Take note Microsoft!

I know I was sold a butt load of PS hype, but I’m seriously pumped about what Sony has to offer. However, it wasn’t perfect. No news on Resistance 3, Last Guardian, or Agent was a big letdown. I just hope they’re saving these for the next big event. Here are my notes:

New Marketing Strategy: They bragged that the PS3 is the only console with something for everyone. After seeing Microsoft’s focus on causal gaming, this statement made me more than a little nervous.

3D: “Sony is the leader in 3D and the PS3 is the only console that offers…. Blah blah blah.” I don’t care what you say. I’m not buying a new TV or those stupid glasses.

Killzone 3: This looked absolutely jaw dropping. So did Killzone 2 for that matter. This one has me all hot and bothered I have to admit. Jetpacks people! I’m curious about the Move support as well.

PS2: It isn’t dead yet, but apparently only worth 2 minutes of stage time… moving on.

Playstation Move: Right off the bat, they said they’re making Move products to please both causal and core gamers, and thank god for that. With a few exceptions, most of the Move games shown didn’t interest me that much, but I’m excited about their direction and optimistic about its potential. Although I’m not a golfer, I thought the Tiger Woods demo was particularly impressive. Pricing wise it may be a little on the high side. We’re talking about $110 for the PSeye, wand, and sub controller.

Kevin Butler’s Speech: I love KB! I laughed my ass off and even cried a little. Thanks for the inspiring speech.

PSP: They gave us a new marketing campaign, a God of War teaser, and a promise of 70 new games by the end of the year. I loves me some GOW, but they were a little flat on the portable front. We’ll have to wait for the PSP2 a little bit longer kids.

Tester Season 2: Not sure why this made me happy, but it did.

PSN Video Service in Canada: Woot Woot! It’s about time. No more trips to Blockbuster for me.

Littlebigplanet 2: I loved LBP1 and I’m sure I’m gonna love LBP2. The level creation tools looked a little daunting, but I’m sure people will do some crazy fun things even if I can’t figure them out.

Playstation Plus: The details flew by fast, so it was hard to pick them all out. The price was lower than I expected though, and I love free stuff, discounts, and surprises, so count me in.

Third Party Exclusives: I find exclusive add-on content for multi-platform games to be rather cruel, but that seems to be how the industry works these days, and it’s better to be on the inside I guess. Most notable was the Dead Space 2 LE Bundle with Dead Space Extraction. I’m drooling right now.

Portal 2: This was a pants crapper. Gabe Newell said nice things about the PS3! Even though I predicted it, I still couldn’t believe it.

Final Fantasy XIV: I have neither any interest in nor hate for this game.

Gran Turismo 5: Auto-porn fans are now warming themselves up of November 2, 2010.

Infamous 2: Infamous was one of my favourite games from last year, and I have no doubt that the sequel will be even better. The trailer looked awesome.

Twisted Metal: With one surprise left I was hoping it would be Agent, but Twisted Metal wasn’t unwelcome. I was excited to see what David Jaffe was working on. To be perfectly honest, I’m not completely sold on it yet; I’ll need to see a little more before I’m ready to jump in. It does look like it could be fun though.

So that’s it. Ridiculously long I know, but that’s because there was so much worthwhile content. Congratulations to Sony for the great show.

My Bloody Nintendo E3 Press Conference Notes

There’s not much to say here. Nintendo don’t make games for me, and nor do they want to. Children and causal gamers are their bread and butter, and they know it. They’ve had a great deal of success with this demographic, so how could I criticize them for not hooking my interest. I’d rather let the kids have their fun.

Reggie did have a lot of smart things to say though. He started off by saying that technology is merely a tool, and good games are created when these tools are combined with good game design. (That’s a rough quote) This knowledge was surely lacking with the Kinect products showcased yesterday. He also pointed out the two biggest drawbacks to 3D home entertainment. It’s way too expensive, and the glasses are a joke. You hit the nail on the head Reggie. Much like the Kinect, it’s very unlikely that I’ll buy the Nintendo 3DS, but I’m happy the technology is out there.

And for all those who like those classic Nintendo characters, I’m sure you guys are over the moon with all the new stuff coming down the tubes. Have fun kids!

My Bloody XBOX 360 E3 Press Conference Notes

Was the XBOX 360 press conference a joke? It was completely predictable without any big surprises, and it seems casual gaming has taken over. Here are my notes on the conference.

Call of Duty Map Packs are now 360 timed exclusives for the next two years. Like I needed another reason to stop playing that tired franchise. I’m officially out.

Kojima two years in a row? MGS: Rising looks like it might be amazing. Time will tell.

Nothing new for the hardcore: You get Gears of War 3, Halo Reach, and Fable 3. Big surprise. Gears admittedly looks stunning while Reach looked like white bread, and I hate fantasy RPGs.

Kinect Multimedia: The wave and voice command options look awesome for non-game functionality. The chat isn’t anything new though.

ESPN on XBOX Live: Doesn’t interest me that much, but I could see how people would get pretty excited about this.

Kinect First Party Games: Can you say Wii? As much as people criticized the Move for copying the Wii controllers, this is down right shameless. Where is the meat? Nothing but casual garbage.

Kinect Third Party Games: Wii Fit… oh I mean Your Shape Fitness – zzzzzzzzzz. Dance Central – do they make games for me anymore? New Forza – welcome to auto porn.

XBOX 360 Slim: It has built-in Wifi… bout time!

Seriously, that was a steaming pile of crap. The Kinect is indeed an amazing piece of technology, but they'll have to come up with something worthwhile before I'll be impressed. If this is where gaming is going, I’m gonna start a new Blog.

Heavy Rain – The Taxidermist Post Mortem

I played through Heavy Rain a few months back and completely fell in love with it. Now, the plot had some major holes and things didn’t quite add up at the end, but that didn’t change the fact that the overall experience knocked me on my ass. The suspense made me so anxious I would literally jump up and down in the middle of my living room. I guess that’s why I waited so long to play this piece of DLC. I just needed a little breather.

The Taxidermist is a prequel to the main game, and I believe it was originally intended as a gameplay test. It stars our favourite investigative reporter, Madison Paige, as she follows a lead on an Origami Killer suspect. Although the main game features way more frightening sequences with Madison in violent situations, this one still made me crap my pants. Getting chased by serial killers and rapists never gets old.

Since this predates the main game, I’d bet this sequence inspired Madison’s encounter with that creepy doctor. Gives me cold shivers just thinking about it.